Closing Out the Decade

Our tree has a heart this year

I actually started this little place for writing back in 2010. I've written a post (or more) every year EXCEPT for this one! So I just had to slip one in so that 2019 wouldn't pass me by. This was my first entry:

This is my first chapter to a blog.

Once upon a time
there was a kingdom.

It was named Beverly
and rested on the North Shore
of Massachusetts.

Post adolescence
resided there.

They danced and played in their kingdom.

They worked and drank.

They made friends
and relationships.

Some moved on, some came back.

This is the story about one who is moving on.
And her travels here
and there
and beyond.

I often feel nostalgic for those Beverly days. Those days of walking to Atomic Cafe where a handful of my friends would naturally be convening for a delicious cup of coffee. My friend and I dreamt of a day where we would have a pipeline that would send a cup to our apartment and save us the walk. That cafe is actually no longer there, as it outgrew it's spot and moved across the street into a bigger and more modern space. I actually have yet to visit and go inside. After college, I often itched to get out of Beverly and travel the world - but I am often so glad I stayed, to grow some roots that I would enjoy returning to in the future. I often feel that my life experiences are connected by small strings, which could have been strung a variety of ways if not for a few chance decisions.

That new chapter referred to leaving and going down to South America, where I would travel for a few months. I learned about pisco sours, ceviche, and the joys of dancing. I saw Machu Picchu, Buenos Aires, the Atacama Desert, Cuenca, and wandered the streets of Santiago, Chile. I concluded that South America is like the heart and North America is more the head. Down there, I was able to nap and value kindness over productivity; I believe this is a value that brought me to the west coast. 

Returning to the Northeast, I entered into the wonderfully fun community of the ropes course and outdoor education. I lived on that beautiful North Shore again, finding roommates that could laugh with me about Justin Bieber, host bonfires, and have impromptu dance parties. I was still on South America time for a bit there, finding that going out at 10 pm was a fine time. We would go into Boston sometimes and go dancing, along with lots of adventures on the North Shore.

Loving that North Shore

I decided to give the city a try. I had a chance encounter with an acquaintance from Gordon, in Atomic Cafe of course, where she said they were actually looking for a housemate in Somerville. I met them in their little house and decided to make the move. Here I made some new friends, most notably my French roommate and her friends, who reminded me of my European roots. 

My housemate and I both applied to grad school that year. I visited UNH for their dual degree program with outdoor education and social work which felt just right. I got a housing situation as a house mom for a sorority - not a likely choice for me, but helped with finances. Up to New Hampshire I moved. 

I survived a year as the house mom of that sorority; it was actually my first time living in a space by myself, which felt kind of nice and kind of lonely. It was also the first time I didn't have access to a kitchen to make my own food, which was hard. Friends actually came and would stay with me every once in awhile and also my family who crowded in that small two-room apartment. 

That summer I decided to be a field guide, since I was learning about wilderness therapy but had never actually witnessed it. I was interested in the PNW, but didn't want the rain. I heard about a site in Bend, OR, and applied to the program. I had never heard of Bend and pretty much forgot Oregon was a state. However, over that previous New Year I had gone to New Mexico to visit a friend, and one of her friends had said "I think Oregon is one of the most beautiful states." Oregon? I bookmarked that and remembered it when this idea of Bend came up. 

I drove across the country in four days to Bend, OR, so I could arrive for orientation as a field guide. I spent a week in the Juniper trees, experiencing wilderness therapy - learning to make a fire with two sticks. I was hired on as a guide for the summer and spent a few weeks in the field. I fell in love with Bend; it was this small enough/big enough mountain town where everyone seemed to be always going on an adventure. I made field guide friends and had a really laid back summer exploring Oregon. 

Then I drove all the way back to the East coast for grad school year #2. I lived in Portsmouth with people my age this time - much better. I enjoyed New England, but wished I was out west. That coming summer I was shooting for an internship in Durango, Colorado, but was encouraged not to go there. Instead, I returned to Bend the next summer. It was good that I did because this is the summer that I met my husband.

First Photo, Best Hike

I sadly left Bend again and drove back across the country to finish up one more class of grad school. I lived with a good friend in Massachusetts and Jordan visited. I facetimed everyday with him until we road tripped back to Bend in January, to stay. 

It was around then that my life seemed to switch to a dial of settling. During this second half of the decade, we went on adventures around Oregon and I would travel back to the East coast when I could over the next few years. This past year felt like a culmination of what this decade was leading up to: we got married, got a house, and I finished my LCSW. Is this adulthood? Have I arrived? I even have a retirement account now. 

There were other events of this decade. I lost three grandparents. My nephew was born. There were weddings. Trips to Scotland. Lots of travel around the USA. I experienced setbacks, challenges, heartbreak, and success. I learned that life is more chaotic than we realize and we must always cling to hope. As my friend said: have hope for the future and grace for the past. I'm curious what this decade will bring. Maybe I'll write more :)

Best Snow Day