Life in Color

America is not natural. Natural is tribal. We're fighting against thousands of years of human behavior and history to create something that no one's ever [done] - that's what's exceptional about America.  This ain't easy, it's an incredible thing.  - Jon Stewart, CBS interview, 2016

What happened this November?!

The world is falling apart.  "Our birds' heads are falling off!" - Dumb and Dumber.  Everything is just unraveling.... I've gone through all the stages of grief except for acceptance.  I'm not sure about that one, so maybe it is back to denial.

We all know this isn't true.  As Obama said, "The sun still came out this morning."  Our history has always been full of turmoil that we hope stays at bay and doesn't affect our nights out, Netflix binges, and coffee dates.  There was a time when our country was fighting itself - physically waging war on each other where more Americans died than all the wars put together.  Now at least we can wage war with our words through social media or actions such as blocking up the streets of Portland, OR.  The west coast might go ahead and join Canada.  Haha... just kidding... maybe...

I cried and grieved over this election, to my own surprise.  My brain shutdown just as it would if I were to become dysregulated over anything else.  It slowly began to respond again, lighting up from my brain stem fight/flight reaction - "I can't live in this nightmare, and I feel very scared," then to the emotional brain - tears and confusion for days, followed by the eventual re-opening of my prefrontal cortex - able to think again, digest, and reflect.  I had gotten wrapped up and so hopeful that a female would be elected - imagining that celebration of a glass ceiling breaking with confetti that looked like glass.  But not only that, that America wouldn't actually vote for a blatant bully (luckily, Melania Trump has stated she'd like to pursue anti-bullying as First Lady).  Millions of people across the country couldn't sleep that night, having nightmares, and stammering, "But he --- but... but didn't you hear all the things he said?"  Particularly as a female, I kept crying when anyone would bring up the little girls watching, and Hillary Clinton's words in her concession speech, "Never let anyone question the fact that you are valuable."  Then I cried some more watching Hillary even get through her concession speech because it further showed that she is actually made of steel.

Ugh, sigh, gahhhhhhh...  OK.  Well, I guess it's time we all add a little bit of politics to our lifestyle and not wait every four years to finally exercise our right to vote or remember we have a voice.  Just as people pull together during crisis, I feel like a positive side effect of all this is that it has given average white folk, known for their apathy, such as myself, a reason to be vocal - and to feel this call to action.  Yep, time to actually read information and not rely on soundbytes, call representatives, sign petitions... I imagine all these people are being absolutely bombarded right now - or at least, I hope.

I was pleasantly surprised, after I emailed all the electors, to receive a response back - an auto-response from one of the electors which included a short video of how the electoral college works.  Wow!  There ARE real people involved in these decisions.  I'm okay if they disagree with me - it just felt good to feel apart of a dialogue.  We need more of that.  Enough of this polarized politics where people demonize each other - can we talk this one out a little bit?

Today, I’m examining my values. As a Buddhist pal said to me on Election Night, “America has spoken.” Now it falls to us to listen with gracious and open hearts. This is not giving in or giving up. The hardest thing about democracy is the boring and irritating process of listening to people you don’t agree with, which is tolerable only when each side strives not to hurt the other’s feelings. To quote my colleague George Saunders, let today be National Attempt to Have an Affectionate / Tender Thought About Someone of the Opposing Political Persuasion Day. And (please, God) every day hereafter as well. - Mary Karr, "Donald Trump, Poet," The New Yorker

Now a montage of pretty Fall photos prior to entering Winter: