My Journey

Floating Ideas at Northeast Open Air (NEO)

Not only did I attend my favorite gathering of the year, where we explore whatever kinds of ideas our on our minds, but I also watched this TED talk by Sarah Kay.  It was timely.  Her name is Sarah, my name is Sarah.  I had been reflecting over how I ended up at Northeast Open Air (NEO), standing in a circle feeling that sense of community, curiosity, and excitement all colliding at the same time.  My cheek muscles hurt from smiling and laughing.  My brain felt rejuvenated by the reminder to keep asking wild questions about things I do not know, and as Sarah says in her talk:

"If you have the ability to express yourself and the courage to express those stories and opinions you could be rewarded with a room full of your peers - or community - who will listen.  And maybe even a giant girl in a hoodie who will connect with what you've shared, and that is an amazing realization to have... You have to grow and explore and take risks and challenge yourself... infusing the work you're doing with the specific things that make you you even while those specific things are always changing... I would like to help others rediscover that [childhood] wonder.  To want to engage with it, to want to learn, to want to share what they've learned - what they've figured out to be true and what they're still figuring out."

To me, that spirit existed in the community of the people I spent time with this weekend.  How I ended up there exists in a handful of moments, some of which are as follows...

***

Sitting on the maroon couch of my living room, a part of my life lay broken on the floor.  I stared out the window across the room at the neighbor's house, considering what I believed in.  I had to incorporate nature, or the wilderness - a cultural shift - an intervention that plucked a person away from their usual world.  I asked Google:

"wilderness + therapy"

(6 months later)

Sitting at the small table in our apartment in Santiago, I felt pulled.  I hadn't known how long I would stay in South America, but the pull made it clear.  Fresh off the plane landing in Boston, I arrived at orientation for adventure camp.  With two suitcases and a chorus of welcomes, my world clicked.

(6 months later)

I was walking up the green grassy hill when a facilitator left his group to jog over to me.  I wasn't sure what he was doing at first, as he smiled big and wide.  He seemed so delighted to meet me that that I felt connected.  

(2 years later)

This was the day that one of my favorite participants was leaving the program.  His mother joined our group as we sat in a circle.  His mother was glowing and tearful.  As I sat talking with her, I shared that I hoped to be a wilderness therapist one day.  "Your face just lit up so much when you just started talking about that.  Oh that was so beautiful to see!" she said.  

(Last Saturday)

"I didn't even know what the topic was - I just came because of you." said the man who wrote the first book on adventure therapy to my co-discussion leader and myself.  Our Experiential Education Through a Feminist Lens discussion had just begun, and here this veteran of my field was saying he was there because of me.  The same leader in the field who had introduced himself to me on that grassy hill years prior, said the same thing. 

(Now)

There are moments when you believe in yourself.  The memory can only hold so many moments and those were some that stuck.  As I stood looking around at the circle of people surrounding me, I wondered how I got here.

It was through those little moments - every single one.